okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
