on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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