That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
