In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize