he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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