Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
