i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
