dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize