i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
