so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
