Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
