come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
