so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Buhtt sex?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
