I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
