YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
