I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She bit a glass in half.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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