I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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