i don't like sucking hair
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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