The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
