I got chris browned last night
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i think i have two assholes
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
