what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
where does the pee come out of this thing
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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