i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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