she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Randomize
