Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize