Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
