i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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