My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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