so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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