Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
