Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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