omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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