But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Randomize
