What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
