But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
