Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize