If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
