I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Is it because I queefed?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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