I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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