it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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