Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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