scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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