apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
