if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize