is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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