So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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