went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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