Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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