A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
