We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
