I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
