would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Green mimosas i think yes
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
