What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
