I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
