Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
The streets are paved with hand jobs
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
