quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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