I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
