The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
