Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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