Fuck appropriateness.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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