I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
