I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
