you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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