I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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