I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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