It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
